Choices

Philippians 2:8-10

 For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast. 10 For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

 Is today going to be a tough one to get out of bed or is it going to be the type of day where everything gets accomplished. Many times people with chronic disabilities don’t know the answer to this question until they wake up. These individuals also don’t have control over these choices. The choice is made when we wake up and discover our symptoms.

The last few mornings…I awoke and felt dizzy, had a headache and frustrated with my physical limitations. Society sets a standard and it is hard to hear people’s disappointment when we say “we can’t” do something. For me, people make me feel guilty for a choice I didn’t make.

Every day I count my blessings. But there still exists a sense of letting someone down. My husband and children are awesome in their handling of my condition. Does this fit you? Do you not know how you will function for the day until you awake? Do you feel like you have the choice to be well…when you don’t? How do you handle it? Are their passages of Scripture that help you journey with this difficulty?

Ephesians 2:8-10 is my go to verses. As a child of God…the blueprint has already been produced for my life. God knows of my conditions and they do not disappoint him one bit. I am God’s handiwork. Even on the days that I have no energy or feel like I am letting everyone down…God reminds me that the purpose of my life is to bring him glory and this will happen even on my worst days. What a comfort! I am especially relieved on the days where a new symptom pops up or I just feel so vulnerable. God knows what is happening and he is taking care of every need. I just need to respond with love and kindness and not worry about tomorrow.! Praise be to God!

A friend told me about the “spoon theory” by Christine Miserandino, which will be highlighted in a future post, and it has given me a way to explain my condition to others. In short, every day when we wake up we only have so many spoons. Some days we may have less than others due to our illness. So it may happen that our spoons will all be used up just to get through the day and there are no extras to go to a restaurant or take a walk. I make sure that every day even with very few spoons I take time to pray and keep focused on Jesus and remind myself I am made in God’s image and that is very good!